I can out do Brisguy

[sethpeploe]

> HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
> The following is an actual question given on a
> University Chemistry essay. The
> answer by one student was so "profound" that the
> professor shared it with colleagues, via the
> internet which is why we now
>have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
> Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
> or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
> using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and
> heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
> changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
> which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
> assume that once a Soul gets to Hell, it will not
> leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
> at the different religions that exist in the world
> today. Most of these religions state that if you are
> not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and
> since people do not belong to more than one
> religion, we can assume all people will go to Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can
> expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
> exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
> the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
> in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
> stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
> souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
> rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature
> and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
> increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
> pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
> during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
> in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night,
> then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
> that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
>
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
> frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
> is therefore,
> extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving
> the existence of a divine being which explains why,
> last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

[italyout]

Here's a good one on the subject!
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898

[Brisguy52]

I can out do Brisguy

I wasn't even aware that there was a contest !

[fuzzy]

Gotta love a good The Onion article!